Pre-launch event: Nintendo 3DS

My partner and I were sent barcoded tickets to the exclusive pre-launch event for the 3DS console. If you didn't already know, it's like the Nintendo Dual-Screen, but you have the option of observing games in 3D without glasses.
I'm not much of a handheld-console gamer these days, I received a DS and DSi as gifts time ago, I occasionally enjoy Resident Evil on the former and I have this tradition of playing with my Nintendog every new years eve, although I usually won't see him for the rest of the year. I jumped at the chance to go, anyway.



This may come off as a tad grumpy, as it took us seven hours to get there with some complicated but apparently cheap route, I didn't get to go to the toilet all day, I hadn't eaten anything except for a packet or two of crisps on the coach and I was in that stage of hunger where I constantly felt nauseous, my make-up migrated over my contacts and I didn't have the opportunity to clean them, there was a consistent blast of wind in my face whenever I wasn't in a vehicle, and my feet were battered and bruised by the time we got there. Nonetheless, that shouldn't detract from my feelings as a result of the event.

Firstly, I gather that the organiser of this event must have been a dickhead "indie fag" hipster as it was held in a windowless derelict warehouse (which wasn't quite where they told us it would be either). The women at the door were nice enough and wristbands (that seemed to be trimmings from black surplus packaging) were placed on us. The terms and conditions attributed to our tickets implied that things would be a lot more rigorous than they actually were, e.g. we had to provide photographic identification when our barcodes were scanned and the staff in each room would routinely request to see it. Which didn't happen at all, not even when we first entered.

When registering we had to allow a Nintendo 3DS application to have access to our Facebook profiles for the purposes of publishing to our walls that we were at the event once our barcodes were scanned. It only posted to my partner's profile though. According to the settings page it mined my "Likes, music, TV, movies, books, quotes, About me, Hometown and Current location". Ironically not the Games section. I don't particularly care.

The event itself was just gimmicky. There were a couple of posters on the wall in the introductory area regarding the history of dual-screen consoles, but I would have expected more. The turnout was roughly an equal mix of women and men who all looked very down-to-earth. The staffing, however, was 99.9% women in skin-tight black clothing and heels. Oh how I wonder why (incoherence-of-being-written-at-3am but you get the point). Frankly I think it's an insult to the fans, as if they're all glasses-wearing awkward-types who haven't entered sexual maturity and lack the mental cohesion to realistically analyse whether they actually want to purchase a console when there's a woman in the room with it.
Staff in question addressed me as "love", repeatedly reiterated where the A button is, and seemed to assume I was the dragged-along girlfriend or sister. They were mostly nice as people but I felt patronised.


We were led through rooms of actors.

I feel sorry for those guys. I can picture them sat at home like "hatemylife".

The room I liked was full of garden sheds, mock fencing and general darkness, for nothing other than Resident Evil. Jolly fun it was being charged at by Chainsaw Ganado. Fake American accents were a bit grating though.



When we finally got to try out the consoles, they were in a dark room with flashing lights and pulsing club music. Why such a distraction? Because the 3DS really isn't anything special.
If you find the exact perfect angle, the image on screen seems slightly embossed. When they say "3D without glasses" it gives you the impression that it will somewhat resemble the experience of sitting in the cinema with such glasses. But it doesn't. The projections in the introductory area were more exciting.
Not all of the games were entirely 3D either; parts of the racing title I was trialling were simply 2D. There's a sliding scale at the side of the console allowing you to play everything in 2D. So basically, it's just a DS with a further gimmick attached.

I also really don't see the point in the StreetPass feature.


I enjoyed trying out Mercenaries and Pilotwings, although the time ran out before I could do much.

Despite how lacklustre this event generally was, I was excited while trialling the Augmented Reality game, AR Archery. The 3DS cameras read a simple ? card and produced interactive imagery. I'm not sure why I had to shoot so many innocent-looking blocks or batter a dragon until he was black. But moving around while playfully battling things in my home environment is something that appeals to me. It's probably the only thing I'd ever want a 3DS for though, and I know the novelty would eventually wear-off.


In my honest opinion, after handling this console, I don't think it's worth your money. Not at all. You know they'll release some sort of "improved" version in a couple of months anyway. I'm sure this will be all-the-rage with kids for a while and will drain parents' money, but it really doesn't live up to its self-generated hype.

I left the event feeling like I wanted to write to the Japanese CEO and tell him what a terrible mess England was making. For something with the Nintendo name plastered all over it, I wanted a lot better.

Admittedly the return journey put me in even more of a bad mood. The train was packed, people put their bags and coats on the seats next to them and lied blatantly about how someone was coming back to sit there, because they don't give a crap about how disabled you are and how you need to sit down more than them. Thanks to such nasty types a group of us were forced to sit on the floor, although karma swiftly came when their stop arrived, they vacated, we took their seats and could see that they'd be waiting in the cold and rain for some time.

I don't think I'd ever been so glad to see my toilet, bed, face wipes and toothbrush. It wasn't all bad but I don't think the console was worth it just for AR Archery. I enjoyed the automatic creation of a Mii from my photograph, but I doubt I'd have much use for it if I did the same thing again.

During the event one of the staff pronounced Mii like "my", and I wondered if they'd pronounce Wii like "why", as in why do I support this franchise.

Overall opinion on the 3DS?
Meh


If you're still interested in the console or event, there's a public album from Nintendo here.
The T&C said that photography and filming were allowed at the discretion of the staff present; halfway-through they decided they didn't like us taking pictures of the screens, although as neither of us were made to sign a Non-Disclosure Agreement I'm within my right to publish them here.